My time spent at the memorial for those who died at Bergen-Belsen can barely be described. The hardest initial part of my journey through the camp was when I came to the first mass grave. All I felt in me was hollowness. I was surrounded by the terror, dread, and the sorrow of my brothers and sisters before me. The hollow became filled with heaviness. I cried as I walked through the rest of the camp, grateful my Dad was not far, and wondering what my Mother was doing, feelings not strange for these grounds. I was never holding back in any one else´s presence, be it my family, or my classmates, or others in the experience, but it wasn`t until I was alone on the grounds for a few moments that I was able to weep. I cried out, but words failed me, for none could come, and I am amazed that they have now, but they also seem to be simultaneously elusive. At the same time, I would`ve stayed longer, but couldn`t leave soon enough. The heaviness remains, and I don`t think it will leave me any time soon. However, this heaviness will help me cling to that which I hold dear, the same that they held dear: My God, my Faith, and my Family. As the inscription on the boulder placed by Chaim Herzog, President of israel reads, "... My sorrow is continually before me." Psalms 38:18. But it is with and through these three things that I will have strength.
May you be blessed by God as I have been,
Benjamin Samuel Mordecai
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2 comments:
History can be fantastic and leave glorious landmarks, but also very, very regretful and humbling. Some things are hard to put into perspective - they will never fit in. Such horrible human history took place in Bergen-Belsen. I hope you (all) will be able to share the emotions from these hollow, heavy experiences campus-wide in the fall. We must remember!
For those of us whose family members were destroyed in such camps, the heaviness doesn't go away. For the HUMAN FAMILY, to which we all belong, this burden must be carried in order that the story is told for countless generations. God bless you, Benjamin, as you bring your perspective, your heartbreak and your dignity to the world. Tell this story. Remind us, we must never forget. I am glad you and your dad experienced this together. Go and tell! I love you, Mom
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